Monday 9 July 2012
100wc by Toluwani P4
...My race was about to begin when...
There lived a boy named Jason. Jason was a very nice and serious, he loved sport, and he was very good at the track especially 100m race. The Olympic was round the corner and everybody were getting ready for it. Jason was in the Olympic and busy preparing for it .The Olympic was here and everybody was excited and jumping up and down .The Olympic started at 10.00 a.m., Jason was in the 100m race, the race was about to begin, he did not know that his shoelace was untied, so tripped over it and fell down. He was so embarrassed that he never ran races again.
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3 comments:
Oh! What a pity that Jason's shoelace got untied. He may need some encouragement to continue but he should not give up.
Please let him know that he can still make it. Thanks for this story.
Hello Toluwani,
This would be a very tragic experience for an athlete who had trained for four year. Simply forgetting to tie a shoelace would not only be embarrassing, it would be upsetting. Well done. :)
Remember to reread your story before posting. There are some minor errors you might have seen. Rereading and editing a story is a skill used by all good writers.
I hope you keep entering the 100WC.
@RossMannell
Teacher, NSW, Australia
I am so sorry for Jason! I have been through embarrassing situations like that and I know how he must have felt. Great job connecting your reader to your protagonist.
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