Monday 14 May 2012
The Secret Recipe - Runor P5
A girl was turning nine, she had a step mother who steals always, and she wanted to steal a secret recipe from her step daughter Rose. Rose was always doing her work, her step mother Sintia was in Rose’s bedroom looking for the recipe, she found it and ran to the kitchen. She said to herself, “now what do I need to do now”. She carried eggs, flour, sugar, e.t.c. she was making the cake when Rose saw her and called the police, she was arrested. Rose was very happy and never got stressed again.
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Hi Runor, well done for completing the 100 word challenge. Poor Rose I am glad she feels less stressed now. It would have been better if her step mother had asked her and maybe they could have cooked the secret recipe together? Next time think about your punctuation and use of full stops and capital letters to mark the sentences. Also have a go at using descriptive language to describe the characters or events in the story. For example, 'Rose, who's eyes were as blue as the sea, was envied by her step mother for her looks.' or 'Her stepmother silently tiptoed into Rose's room, her face was dark with anger and her eyes darted to find the secret recipe.' Keep up the great writing, I look forward to reading more.
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