tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1254723313057004476.post6964292933170475605..comments2023-05-19T10:40:28.162+01:00Comments on Bankyschl: The tiny little man by Destiny P5Unknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger2125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1254723313057004476.post-73528789246111017662012-10-03T14:27:30.405+01:002012-10-03T14:27:30.405+01:00Yo guys, its Josh from England and I go to Rhyddin...Yo guys, its Josh from England and I go to Rhyddings High School. Thats a really sad story I hope that little man gets better from exploding! Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1254723313057004476.post-56232141083073351822012-10-03T12:45:33.331+01:002012-10-03T12:45:33.331+01:00From Mrs Neale Team 100WC
Destiny, this is a supe...From Mrs Neale Team 100WC<br /><br />Destiny, this is a super piece of writing for the 100WC. You have a very clear beginning, middle and end with good use of adjectives to decribe the town. You have used wow verbs like tumble, explode and rush to add effect too. I enjoyed the happy ending, the beautiful setting and a feeling of happiness for the townsfolk. The different ways that you have used to begin sentences adds interest too, well done.<br />At the beginning of your story you have three short sentences, all about the town. Could you think of a way to combine them, perhaps beginning 'Everyone loved to live in the faraway town of Green Town because...'<br />Thank you for sharing your wonderful writing!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com